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How NOT to Attract Your Soulmate

Many authors, including myself write articles and ebooks on HOW to attract your soulmate, but few talk about the behaviors that may be preventing you from meeting your soulmate.

Much of the ‘advice’ for finding love, dating, and soulmate (and all that) is based on ‘techniques’ which are ultimately based on manipulation. This is fine, as far as it goes. BUT – that isn’t very far! Attracting someone or getting a date is easy and most people can do it without too much effort.

After you get a date, come the hard part – building a friendship and a relationship with another person. Now that’s challenging!

Here are a few of the things both men and women do to get a date or to impress others:

Snowing. If you are going to be friends with someone, and develop a relationship with them, they are going to find out all about you sooner or later. That doesn’t mean you have to spill your guts about every negative trait on the first date. And it doesn’t mean you can’t be selective about what you say. What it means is you shouldn’t try and pretend you are something that you are not. Just be yourself!

Some people won’t like who you are. This is inevitable. No problem! You are dating right? There are lots of fish in the sea so just keep going.

Chasing after someone. Chasing after someone shows that you are desperate which is always a turn off – for men and women. There is a fine line between showing enthusiasm (which is great) and chasing. What’s the difference? Chasing is desperate, clingy and obsessive. Showing enthusiasm is direct and open and ‘authentic.’ Being authentic means your actions and your thoughts are the same. What you are thinking and what you are feeling and what you are doing are all the same thing.

Hustling. Works for a one-night stand. Works for speed dating. That’s about it! Does NOT work for friendship. Does NOT work for relationships. Slow down and relax!

Dressing to Kill. Over-dressing shows you are ‘over’ and trying too hard. Relax! Dress as you normally would and don’t overdue it.

There are others, but generally they all have something in common – in some way you aren’t being yourself! Sooner or later it will all come out and will work against you.

Everyone loves a character. Everyone loves someone who are themselves and it doesn’t really matter what that is.

Trying to be someone else is stressful and tiring, and ultimately fails. The best thing is just relax and be you! If they are not interested, that may be frustrating, but there are lots more out there.

Robert Johanssen is a psychologist and author. Visit his website for Soulmate Quotes as well as articles, tips and information on Finding your Soulmate

Source: www.articlealley.com